Don’t ask me why — or actually, it’s basically in response to the unrelenting number of gay suicides in the “it gets better” era — but I decided to write a 5000-word essay for The Atlantic lol my own blog, on what I’m calling the “suicide impulse,” which is not exactly going to be a revelation but is still worth discussing (or I think so, anyway), or basically an impulse that I think exists in EVERY gay (loosely defined) just by virtue of having been denied the opportunity as adolescents to channel or express our inner lives in ways that roughly speaking could be considered healthy/constructive or at least not rooted in self-destruction/self-mutilation, meaning that even if we don’t kill ourselves when we’re ten or twelve (and even if we’re not bullied or beaten to death, which I was not), we already understand the very strong appeal of doing so (even thirty or forty or fifty years later), and all too often only need to push a knife that’s already there a few inches deeper to finish the job. GPOY at ten when despite having sweet seventies hair and basically every other social advantage, I was first seriously entertaining thoughts of killing myself. 

Don’t ask me why — or actually, it’s basically in response to the unrelenting number of gay suicides in the “it gets better” era — but I decided to write a 5000-word essay for The Atlantic lol my own blog, on what I’m calling the “suicide impulse,” which is not exactly going to be a revelation but is still worth discussing (or I think so, anyway), or basically an impulse that I think exists in EVERY gay (loosely defined) just by virtue of having been denied the opportunity as adolescents to channel or express our inner lives in ways that roughly speaking could be considered healthy/constructive or at least not rooted in self-destruction/self-mutilation, meaning that even if we don’t kill ourselves when we’re ten or twelve (and even if we’re not bullied or beaten to death, which I was not), we already understand the very strong appeal of doing so (even thirty or forty or fifty years later), and all too often only need to push a knife that’s already there a few inches deeper to finish the job. GPOY at ten when despite having sweet seventies hair and basically every other social advantage, I was first seriously entertaining thoughts of killing myself. 

3 months ago 148 notes #This post is abt the need to stop assuming

148 Notes

  1. nothingbutghosts reblogged this from matthewgallaway
  2. bencourts reblogged this from kateoplis
  3. c-a-j-1342 reblogged this from kateoplis
  4. likestash reblogged this from kateoplis
  5. brbimpoopin reblogged this from kateoplis
  6. alanharris reblogged this from matthewgallaway and added:
    highly recommend reading this...brilliant essay.
  7. moonhowler56 reblogged this from kateoplis
  8. adrianaglass reblogged this from kateoplis and added:
    Sad but important
  9. f0llowm3 reblogged this from kateoplis
  10. nayybhadd14 reblogged this from kateoplis
  11. listeningskillz reblogged this from kateoplis
  12. f0llowm3 reblogged this from kateoplis
  13. nervousacid said: This is uncanny. Last week I added an essay idea for my book that talks about THIS VERY THING.
  14. xxfall-into-my-arms-insteadxx reblogged this from kateoplis
  15. girliesforever reblogged this from kateoplis
  16. bco reblogged this from kateoplis